I remember reading in a January issue of Life Magazine (remember Life?) years ago how so many of us go into "Love Crisis"just after the holidays . The gist of the article was that this crisis comes out of our expectations of the holiday; expectations that are so high they can't possibly be fulfilled. I must admit that the article pegged me. January has always been a challenge, so I was grateful to find out why.
Expectations are so dangerous. They can foul us up in relationship, in our jobs, and especially when life deals us a blow. The saying that "It's not what life deals you that matters, but how you respond" is not an easy concept, but it is one that can make a difference in how you live out all of your life no matter what.
I received an e mail from a friend/client/reader named Virginia today. Virginia lives far away from me and came to me through reading my book. We've talked often over cyberspace about environment, her exercise progress through Carl's Beachbody.com, or a fast question she has for me about what to buy. But today's e mail slipped into some of her life reality, and I knew I had to share it with you for it had home, the holidays, expectations and love all wrapped up within. So in honor of Virginia and Bill (who is dealing with cancer,) I give you the gift of a window into their creativity.
Virginia writes ; " We are cherishing every moment, even the ones that aren't particularly pleasant because either way they ARE our moments and we've no guarantee of more. The past two days have been wonderful. After several months of being confined to home by Bill's low blood counts and only having a few foods he was allowed to eat ... we are FREE!!! LOL Not 10 minutes after the nurse called Monday we were giggling and sitting in a restaurant ready to devour huge salads. Never has lettuce tasted so delicious!
When your granulocyte (infection fighters) counts are low enough you can't eat fresh fruits or vegetables, raw grains or nuts, any meats that are well done, mayonaise, yogurt, or foods from deli counters. The list gets endless. Even my flowering plants had to find new homes. Add the restriction of going no place with more that 2-3 other people present and no school age kids around. Well, I'm sure you can imagine.
With the freedom comes a week of chemo, which will drive the counts down and confine us to home again. We are celebrating every single moment. Seeing friends, hugging people, being in crowds, it all feels fantastic. It takes a lot of work to maintain a happy outlook during the times we are confined. We've developed an ongoing Scrabble tournament, (I'm winning) we read from a book each night at dinner and discuss whatever the topic, we have dates right here at home. Mostly we've learned to be very respectful of each other's needs, whether that's a hand to hold or space to scream. This time has made our marriage much stronger."
Thank you, Virginia. My day today has been far better due to this e mail. I find myself so inspired on so many levels. To know that you have worked hard to create a home that you love, and to discover how it is serving you and Bill now is powerful. But Virginia, it's one thing to have your space ready. It's another to use it creatively. You and Bill are a fabulous example of "making it work and getting past your expectations." Thank you for your words.
No matter how we celebrate this time of the year as the light returns, may our homes support us and our beliefs, and assist us in every moment as we live out who we are and what life has offered. I pray that we see it all as a gift and live as deeply and honestly as Virginia and Bill.
Happy Holidays, Denny
In U.S.News & World Report, the week of November 28th, several writers wrote wonderful articles on Sacred Places. The entire feature is so well done. My delight is that in the amazing review of so many powerful sites they did not fail to mention personal sacred spaces and how they may just be in the home.
The final article of the feature is written by Winifred Gallagher. She writes:
"Over years of thinking and writing about how our external worlds affect our inner ones, I've visited Europe's cathedrals, India's temples, and Morocco's mosques. Nevertheless, when I hear "sacred place," I think first of my modest home, a one-room schoolhouse in the woods, where I'm wriitng these words.
Like many American homes, the schoolhouse combines natural and architectural ingredients in its recipe for ordinary sacredness. On this chily morning, sunlight floods the white, high-ceilinged room. The only sounds come from the brook, the wind rustling in the autumn leaves, and the fire crackling in the wood stove. When I woke up, the first thing I saw was a small herd of deer grazing on the lawn. The schoolhouse has precious little plumbing and no central heating, cell service, or high-speed Internet. Given a hard enough rain storm, it has no electricity.
Despite the inconveniences-or perhaps because of them-this is where I come to be cut off from the staatus quo, glimpse the big picture, and remember the deep truths that are so easy to forget elsewhere."
As you, my readers, know, I get ecstatic over all exclamations of home, its impact, its power, and its possibility of joy. Through her words one clearly sees that Winifred knows what she wants and loves and has been successful in creating it for herself. I would call it her medicine, her way of getting what she needs in particular times in her life.
An individual cannot expect those gifts from any environment if they are not aware of what brings them an intimnate connection with that wonderful center within - the Self. And knowing the desires, there is also the work of creating the space so it can give it back when needed. Knowing what places bring you to your sacred, and then either going there or creating it for yourself guarantees that it will be there for you when you need it.
Thank you, Winifred. Your book the power of Place, how our Surroudings Shape Our Thoughts, Emotions, and Actions (Harper Perennial, 1994 )was a meaningful resource as I wrote my book. You get the message out there so well. Blessings and Thanksgiving to you!
Denny Daikeler
The final article of the feature is written by Winifred Gallagher. She writes:
"Over years of thinking and writing about how our external worlds affect our inner ones, I've visited Europe's cathedrals, India's temples, and Morocco's mosques. Nevertheless, when I hear "sacred place," I think first of my modest home, a one-room schoolhouse in the woods, where I'm wriitng these words.
Like many American homes, the schoolhouse combines natural and architectural ingredients in its recipe for ordinary sacredness. On this chily morning, sunlight floods the white, high-ceilinged room. The only sounds come from the brook, the wind rustling in the autumn leaves, and the fire crackling in the wood stove. When I woke up, the first thing I saw was a small herd of deer grazing on the lawn. The schoolhouse has precious little plumbing and no central heating, cell service, or high-speed Internet. Given a hard enough rain storm, it has no electricity.
Despite the inconveniences-or perhaps because of them-this is where I come to be cut off from the staatus quo, glimpse the big picture, and remember the deep truths that are so easy to forget elsewhere."
As you, my readers, know, I get ecstatic over all exclamations of home, its impact, its power, and its possibility of joy. Through her words one clearly sees that Winifred knows what she wants and loves and has been successful in creating it for herself. I would call it her medicine, her way of getting what she needs in particular times in her life.
An individual cannot expect those gifts from any environment if they are not aware of what brings them an intimnate connection with that wonderful center within - the Self. And knowing the desires, there is also the work of creating the space so it can give it back when needed. Knowing what places bring you to your sacred, and then either going there or creating it for yourself guarantees that it will be there for you when you need it.
Thank you, Winifred. Your book the power of Place, how our Surroudings Shape Our Thoughts, Emotions, and Actions (Harper Perennial, 1994 )was a meaningful resource as I wrote my book. You get the message out there so well. Blessings and Thanksgiving to you!
Denny Daikeler
I don't know about you, but my house plants at this time of year are huge, abundant, and HEALTHY. The Christmas cactus looks like it can't wait for the holiday, the dracenas and philadeldrons are all over place and the jade plants are rivaling the trees in the yard, especially the one on the east wall in the kitchen. I think it reaches more for the sun every early morning. My son Carl was so taken with her on his last visit that he asked to be bequeathed her in my will!
Well, I don't know whether the plant was listening to Carl or not, because last Thrusday after watering I heard a loud crash in the kitchen and you guessed it, the jade had fallen, or perhaps the term " exploded" would be a better description. I was stunned, upset, forlorn and helpless as I stood over her scattered branches. When I pulled myself together, the only thing I could think to do was to gather all the parts and place them in a cardboard box just to protect the tender leaves as I sorted out my plight.
Was this disastor a sign? Was I being warned? Always my first step when I feel I've gotten a sign is to consult my Ted Andrew's Nature-Speak book. Jade was not listed, so I had to go to the larger category of Cactus. The "keynote" was: "adaptation, find and express the beauty and strength in all conditions."
Well, my first step of adaptation was a trip to the local garden center where I was told the cardboard box was a great solution while the raw ends calloused. The victims soon would be ready for new pots and time to root and grow. I bought new pots, and when ready, I did the planting, ending up with five plants instead of one.
My next adaptation was for me, the owner and keeper of this beautiful jade tree that had lived with me for at least forty years(YES, I WAS UPSET) to figure out what my jade was trying to say to me. You see I've been living an amazing life of guidance from animals, birds, flowers, trees, numbers everything. And believe me "everything seems to have a voice!" Sometimes I hear the directive through a a phrase or sentence, and sometimes I need help. It's become a very sacred science of me knowing that I am being shown something about my life by some very Divine companions leading me forward. So you see, I now know the jade is a new escort wishing to advise me. Time to contemplate.
I thought of the plant when I watered it. I noticed that it was larger and a little unsteady in its pot, but I fidgeted with it a bit and called it "fine"! Wasn't fine was it? Obviously was out of balance, and over extended for its present pot. Hm!
Time to get honest here. How am I feeling? A Bit out of balance and too much for my spot in life? Yeah. A little too true. Too much to do. Going in so many directions. Wanting to do everything, see everybody, branching out. Pretty powerful isn't it? And I've got to admit it's painfully clear. And isn't it interesting that I ended up with five new plants, and five is the number of change. Am I being advised to change?
This definitely will deserve more meditation and contemplation, but in the meantime I am alerting you to look, listen and see what is speaking to you for your well being. The messages are truly a gift. Ted Andrews says: "A great and ancient energy is at play. It reminds us that true growth is usually slow but steady, but we must adapt and not try to force it."
I stand advised and grateful.
And probably by the time that my will is vital, Carl will have his choice of five large and gorgeous jade trees carefully cultivated and well in balance for their pot!
Well, I don't know whether the plant was listening to Carl or not, because last Thrusday after watering I heard a loud crash in the kitchen and you guessed it, the jade had fallen, or perhaps the term " exploded" would be a better description. I was stunned, upset, forlorn and helpless as I stood over her scattered branches. When I pulled myself together, the only thing I could think to do was to gather all the parts and place them in a cardboard box just to protect the tender leaves as I sorted out my plight.
Was this disastor a sign? Was I being warned? Always my first step when I feel I've gotten a sign is to consult my Ted Andrew's Nature-Speak book. Jade was not listed, so I had to go to the larger category of Cactus. The "keynote" was: "adaptation, find and express the beauty and strength in all conditions."
Well, my first step of adaptation was a trip to the local garden center where I was told the cardboard box was a great solution while the raw ends calloused. The victims soon would be ready for new pots and time to root and grow. I bought new pots, and when ready, I did the planting, ending up with five plants instead of one.
My next adaptation was for me, the owner and keeper of this beautiful jade tree that had lived with me for at least forty years(YES, I WAS UPSET) to figure out what my jade was trying to say to me. You see I've been living an amazing life of guidance from animals, birds, flowers, trees, numbers everything. And believe me "everything seems to have a voice!" Sometimes I hear the directive through a a phrase or sentence, and sometimes I need help. It's become a very sacred science of me knowing that I am being shown something about my life by some very Divine companions leading me forward. So you see, I now know the jade is a new escort wishing to advise me. Time to contemplate.
I thought of the plant when I watered it. I noticed that it was larger and a little unsteady in its pot, but I fidgeted with it a bit and called it "fine"! Wasn't fine was it? Obviously was out of balance, and over extended for its present pot. Hm!
Time to get honest here. How am I feeling? A Bit out of balance and too much for my spot in life? Yeah. A little too true. Too much to do. Going in so many directions. Wanting to do everything, see everybody, branching out. Pretty powerful isn't it? And I've got to admit it's painfully clear. And isn't it interesting that I ended up with five new plants, and five is the number of change. Am I being advised to change?
This definitely will deserve more meditation and contemplation, but in the meantime I am alerting you to look, listen and see what is speaking to you for your well being. The messages are truly a gift. Ted Andrews says: "A great and ancient energy is at play. It reminds us that true growth is usually slow but steady, but we must adapt and not try to force it."
I stand advised and grateful.
And probably by the time that my will is vital, Carl will have his choice of five large and gorgeous jade trees carefully cultivated and well in balance for their pot!
So here we are into the new year, at least the end of the summer and the beginning of the fall in my part of the world. I feel the newness so strongly with the academic year beginning. I live next door to a school, and the return of everyone to begin again, changes the energy on my road to a high degree!
Our weather right now in Southeastern Pennsylvania is awesome. The beauty is at as high a place as I've ever seen. It creates a feeling of gratitude in me that is even hard to express. As I meditated today, the thought of "harvest" came into my mind (that mind that is supposed to empty and be quiet!) What an amazing gift life is. We get to plant our seeds, whether it is for the creation of home, the creation of relationship or community, the growing of food, the growing of the Self. Then we get to cultivate. And, if we have done all that work (process) well, then comes the chance to harvest.
Sometimes the seeds have been seeds of growth, and sometimes seeds of change. And sometimes the seeds of change are seeds of growth! Closing the door can be as creative as opening it. I guess you could even say that harvest and beginnings are synonymous for a student reaps the results of past school years as he/she moves onto the next level of learning.
I wish you, me and the planet at whatever phase, a marvelous and abundant harvest. Bring it on!
Our weather right now in Southeastern Pennsylvania is awesome. The beauty is at as high a place as I've ever seen. It creates a feeling of gratitude in me that is even hard to express. As I meditated today, the thought of "harvest" came into my mind (that mind that is supposed to empty and be quiet!) What an amazing gift life is. We get to plant our seeds, whether it is for the creation of home, the creation of relationship or community, the growing of food, the growing of the Self. Then we get to cultivate. And, if we have done all that work (process) well, then comes the chance to harvest.
Sometimes the seeds have been seeds of growth, and sometimes seeds of change. And sometimes the seeds of change are seeds of growth! Closing the door can be as creative as opening it. I guess you could even say that harvest and beginnings are synonymous for a student reaps the results of past school years as he/she moves onto the next level of learning.
I wish you, me and the planet at whatever phase, a marvelous and abundant harvest. Bring it on!
Visiting at a friend's house for dinner six of us got caught up in a small design project. The participants were the couple whose home we were in, the 92 year old mother-in-law, two other friends and myself. The discussion centered on a small wall in the dining area where we were sitting. The discussion was What should go there? One of the owners was wanting a low cabinet on the wall, the other was wanting a tall plant and a picture. The first would mean there would be three walls with low cabinets, not good. The latter would be a repetition of the corner across on the diagonal. Not good either. One owner remembered a small inherited Victorian table, very open in a deep brown wood. Sounded good to me.
We retrieved the table and placed it on the wall. It looked great. Now, we needed wall treatment above. A picture was the first suggestion. Certainly a possibility. A tall accessory? I felt it would make the table top heavy. One owner remembered their modern metal sculpture consisting of many small and varied sized sqaure and rectangular pieces. "Get it," I said. It looked fabulous for it enhanced the curves of the table and was vertical, aligning well with the shape of the wall.
We were having fun and it was looking great. So now what should go on the table top?" This was very tricky because we had two very strong statements in the table and the sculpture. I said that I'd like a small soft green plant that was a vine. One was retrieved and what a success! The plant lived in a rectangular brass box. It was so right on!
We all loved and were so proud of our accomplishment. Finished, we went on to other topics. All except our elderly guest who remained with the new visual. She loved it. Somehow the plant added exactly what she wanted and just pleased her aesthetic sense. She just stared and stared. Her comments kept bringing us back to the vignette. Her shoulders would go up and she'd comment how it just was so nice! I was as entertained by her joy of the visual as I was by our successful creation. It reminded me deeply how much creativity can please our hearts, and how, if it really reaches us personally, it continues to bless our delight no matter who we are or what our stage in life. Truly design and beauty hold extreme importance to our Souls.
Never forget!
Love, Denny
We retrieved the table and placed it on the wall. It looked great. Now, we needed wall treatment above. A picture was the first suggestion. Certainly a possibility. A tall accessory? I felt it would make the table top heavy. One owner remembered their modern metal sculpture consisting of many small and varied sized sqaure and rectangular pieces. "Get it," I said. It looked fabulous for it enhanced the curves of the table and was vertical, aligning well with the shape of the wall.
We were having fun and it was looking great. So now what should go on the table top?" This was very tricky because we had two very strong statements in the table and the sculpture. I said that I'd like a small soft green plant that was a vine. One was retrieved and what a success! The plant lived in a rectangular brass box. It was so right on!
We all loved and were so proud of our accomplishment. Finished, we went on to other topics. All except our elderly guest who remained with the new visual. She loved it. Somehow the plant added exactly what she wanted and just pleased her aesthetic sense. She just stared and stared. Her comments kept bringing us back to the vignette. Her shoulders would go up and she'd comment how it just was so nice! I was as entertained by her joy of the visual as I was by our successful creation. It reminded me deeply how much creativity can please our hearts, and how, if it really reaches us personally, it continues to bless our delight no matter who we are or what our stage in life. Truly design and beauty hold extreme importance to our Souls.
Never forget!
Love, Denny
Last evening I had dinner with dear friends of mine who have created a life that is eight months in Mexico, four months in Tinicum, PA. When they are in Tinicum they are living in a very tiny cottage whcih they are renovating as they go along. I was there a week ago and they had part of a kitchen up, some furniture in place, and a lot of potential for more! This week I was blown away by the transformation. Oh, they hadn't finished the kitchen, they hadn't finished the floor, the closet wasn't in along the back wall, part of the electricity was still out, but because of their ability to bring out and arrange lovely objects and place them so artfully the space was charming, comfortable, and inviting. There was a gorgeous and brilliant gaphic that was a cotton fabric tacked at the front door, there were some treasured pictures placed very carefully on the walls, there were nests for conversation, there was an eating area nested in another corner with a brilliant fabric tablecloth, on and on and on. The dinner was delicious, dessert baked in another cottage's oven, pasta with pesto all prepared on hot plates, salmon done on an outside grill, ....these people are artists in the moment. The cottage does not have to be done perfectly in order to be attractive, in fact stunning, for they are so good at making what is in the moment beautiful. It also, does not have to be finished to entertain! The lesson was that for me. I wait for something to get to a certain point before I make it beautiful when it could be beautiful in all stages. I wait for the "done stage" to have people over. Instead all I have to do is accept everything exactly as it is, bring forward my creativity, and what I have in the moment and use my designer's eye (we all have one, you know) to make it happen. This way every moment is beautiful and full of life. Great learning!
We are experiencing weather this June in eastern Pennsylvania, that rivals any I remember. It's not so hot and humid, there are breezes, and because of a great amount of spring rain everything is more abundant. There are more leaves on trees, more flowers, fuller streams, even more song birds!
I can't get enough of it. Yesterday morning I got up early and found myself going straight outside. I went right to the middle of the stream and just stood in the middle, gaping. The feelings of life being magical, amazing, superb just filled me up.
During this standing meditation, my mind wandered to how many times I've had this same opportunity and not done it. I've either gotten up fast to start my long list of "to do's", or I've gotten on the phone immediately. I realized that I had truly gifted myself this morning, and needed to do it more.
We all hear more often than not about how we're leading "busy lives." It's true. And it does deny us some of these simple exquisite moments. My mind goes to a friend's presentation one Sunday morning at Pebble Hill Church. Gordon was talking about using the "margins of time"; how we all have them whether it's before or after something scheduled , or while we're waiting for someone, or a phone call or a roast to finish cooking. We have them but sometimes are impatient with them, consider them a "hold up". Gordon's advice was instead to use them for pleasure, meditation, prayer, contemplation or just sitting (or standing in a creek!), but for sure to use them.
His point is so well taken, for if we're aware of the margins we can decide to use them creatively. They can become part of our behavior, part of our day, so we fall into it more naturally. Perhaps asking ourselves at those moments, "What can I do right now, that is easy, simple and will bring me immense joy? The question might open you up to something quite unexpected, something that you do therefore, with a lot of intention.
Alex Grey, the artist, talks about going out into nature, sitting down in a spot that draws you and asking for the wood fairies, the nature nymphs to show themselves. He says it takes patience for you really have to concentrate on one particular spot, but if you're willing to wait, they will show up. He warns that you will have to be patient and trust their coming.
I haven't tried it yet, but think of me tomorrow morning. I've just decided I'll create that margin of time!
I can't get enough of it. Yesterday morning I got up early and found myself going straight outside. I went right to the middle of the stream and just stood in the middle, gaping. The feelings of life being magical, amazing, superb just filled me up.
During this standing meditation, my mind wandered to how many times I've had this same opportunity and not done it. I've either gotten up fast to start my long list of "to do's", or I've gotten on the phone immediately. I realized that I had truly gifted myself this morning, and needed to do it more.
We all hear more often than not about how we're leading "busy lives." It's true. And it does deny us some of these simple exquisite moments. My mind goes to a friend's presentation one Sunday morning at Pebble Hill Church. Gordon was talking about using the "margins of time"; how we all have them whether it's before or after something scheduled , or while we're waiting for someone, or a phone call or a roast to finish cooking. We have them but sometimes are impatient with them, consider them a "hold up". Gordon's advice was instead to use them for pleasure, meditation, prayer, contemplation or just sitting (or standing in a creek!), but for sure to use them.
His point is so well taken, for if we're aware of the margins we can decide to use them creatively. They can become part of our behavior, part of our day, so we fall into it more naturally. Perhaps asking ourselves at those moments, "What can I do right now, that is easy, simple and will bring me immense joy? The question might open you up to something quite unexpected, something that you do therefore, with a lot of intention.
Alex Grey, the artist, talks about going out into nature, sitting down in a spot that draws you and asking for the wood fairies, the nature nymphs to show themselves. He says it takes patience for you really have to concentrate on one particular spot, but if you're willing to wait, they will show up. He warns that you will have to be patient and trust their coming.
I haven't tried it yet, but think of me tomorrow morning. I've just decided I'll create that margin of time!
Anita is building a new house. This is the third house I've worked on with Anita. She's done the work of the book "What Color Is Your Slipcover?" and we both now know she loves simplicity, elegance, soft colors, more conservative looks, no drama, lines that are simple and straight. She is working with an architect who is finishing up the new plan. Anita is getting so good at answering the questions about detail on this new space. She's getting so clear, because she's understanding that her comfort is around these design characteristics I've listed. This clarity is serving her well for she is buffeted by phrases from her professionals such as:"This will make the house stand out!" This will give it character" "This is what's in!" These are very seductive statements and lead us all to what we don't want because it doesn't relate to who we are.
Some of my clients love to have their homes "stand out". Others need to see "character" for its convincing them they have character. But I would say to everyone that, it's your
character that needs to show, and there is not a standardized element that can ever represent character. I feel so strongly about this. You will never feel like you belong in the house you've built or bought, or are renting, if it's filled with someone else's interpretation of standardized, character, drama, simplicity, elegance, perfection, difference, on and on. You need to know what is perfect for you, elegant to you. Your own interpretations of your words, your adjectives, serve you and the professionals you are working with. Get clear. Notice the things you love around you, evaluate your responses to looks, feels, presentations, effects, for they all speak to you of your style. They wake you up to what makes you heart comfortable, full and complete. Do the work so no one can tell you how you can have more character.
YOU ALREADY HAVE IT. JUST KNOW WHAT IT IS AND WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE!
Some of my clients love to have their homes "stand out". Others need to see "character" for its convincing them they have character. But I would say to everyone that, it's your
character that needs to show, and there is not a standardized element that can ever represent character. I feel so strongly about this. You will never feel like you belong in the house you've built or bought, or are renting, if it's filled with someone else's interpretation of standardized, character, drama, simplicity, elegance, perfection, difference, on and on. You need to know what is perfect for you, elegant to you. Your own interpretations of your words, your adjectives, serve you and the professionals you are working with. Get clear. Notice the things you love around you, evaluate your responses to looks, feels, presentations, effects, for they all speak to you of your style. They wake you up to what makes you heart comfortable, full and complete. Do the work so no one can tell you how you can have more character.
YOU ALREADY HAVE IT. JUST KNOW WHAT IT IS AND WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE!
Sixty years of marriage, very little time apart, and the onset of a new life through the death of the partner, is HUGE. My friend Rene called me from Iowa. The days of waiting and praying had helped her father move on gracefully. Now helping her Mom know where to start a new and single life with alivness and interest was the focus that Rene was holding Sacred.
There was a homestead that Mom could return to. There was also the room that her parents had shared at an assisted living establishment. The question was which would Mom choose. Rene hoped her choice would be to remain where she'd been for the last three years for it seemed more manageable. Her mom seemed to be leaning that way also.
The reason I'm sharing this in a blog is some of the ways to deal with her mom's situation proved to be environmental. As Rene and her Mom addressed the issue her mom made definite references to the lack of warmth in the small apartment. In response, Rene talked about the possibilities of replacing the dark green carpet to a warmer beige that Mom said she liked, and perhaps changing the drapes. She also suggested some rearrangment to make the small eating area pleasant. This seemed to perk up mom's interest.
As these ideas were discussed with other member's of the family the ideas were met with comments such as, "This rug is fine. It's almost brand new." etc. These responses do not honor or recognize the importance of how a person is feeling about their space, or that there may be a real personal need for new possibilities. Talking about them is the first gift of caring. Knowing they're significance and helping to make it happen is truly an act of love.
Items with memories, furniture placed in ways that support the way we like to move or relax, pictures that hold images that are special to us such as flowers, landscapes, waterscapes, will greatly assist us in feeling our own harmony with life. Rene's wisdom in taking the time to deal with Mom's environment will guarantee her movement into new life with more ease than not. Having the space transform has so many messages, and probably the most important one is that life is not over and is worth living from a place of depth and hope..
Grieving is assisted by change on all levels, and especially on the level of our own living space.Helping an elderly parent accomplish this helps their life and yours! Helping them remember the life you all had together and seeking new possibilities also, moves everyone along the path to rebirth. Every moment on the planet deserves fullness, hope, and joy, for everyone, and an elderly parent just may need assistance in getting there.
Hats off to Rene.
There was a homestead that Mom could return to. There was also the room that her parents had shared at an assisted living establishment. The question was which would Mom choose. Rene hoped her choice would be to remain where she'd been for the last three years for it seemed more manageable. Her mom seemed to be leaning that way also.
The reason I'm sharing this in a blog is some of the ways to deal with her mom's situation proved to be environmental. As Rene and her Mom addressed the issue her mom made definite references to the lack of warmth in the small apartment. In response, Rene talked about the possibilities of replacing the dark green carpet to a warmer beige that Mom said she liked, and perhaps changing the drapes. She also suggested some rearrangment to make the small eating area pleasant. This seemed to perk up mom's interest.
As these ideas were discussed with other member's of the family the ideas were met with comments such as, "This rug is fine. It's almost brand new." etc. These responses do not honor or recognize the importance of how a person is feeling about their space, or that there may be a real personal need for new possibilities. Talking about them is the first gift of caring. Knowing they're significance and helping to make it happen is truly an act of love.
Items with memories, furniture placed in ways that support the way we like to move or relax, pictures that hold images that are special to us such as flowers, landscapes, waterscapes, will greatly assist us in feeling our own harmony with life. Rene's wisdom in taking the time to deal with Mom's environment will guarantee her movement into new life with more ease than not. Having the space transform has so many messages, and probably the most important one is that life is not over and is worth living from a place of depth and hope..
Grieving is assisted by change on all levels, and especially on the level of our own living space.Helping an elderly parent accomplish this helps their life and yours! Helping them remember the life you all had together and seeking new possibilities also, moves everyone along the path to rebirth. Every moment on the planet deserves fullness, hope, and joy, for everyone, and an elderly parent just may need assistance in getting there.
Hats off to Rene.
I have been reading several critiques of "The Secret," A new book and/or DVD by Rhonda Byrne, that is getting a lot of attention. A quick summary is that it is a gathering of opinoins/information around the law of attraction. I find myself very inspired by the clarity of this work and its message. I am also impressed with Oprah for she has chosen to share the material with her audiences through assorted panels and personal testimonials of individuals who have used the information.
The criticism of " The Secret"seems to focus on it being too materialistic. It doesn't dispute the law, but suggests it's dark in its presentation of how to use it and what to use it for.. The critics do not seem to trust persons with its application, or feel that it is dangerous to focus on this law for if it doesn't work it throws them into despair or guilt of being powerless. It definitely states that this product is leading us all into the trap of consumerism and materialism because we can "use it to attract less Spiritual things into our life."
So, now I want to throw in my two cents:
So tuning in and listening to our heart and our feelings tells us if we're way into ego, greed, being unconscious or not. Then we have a choice to change. There is no right or wrong, there is poor choice and better choice. And there are lessons that do result from any choice.And they are what guide us on.
We have free choice. That's a law also. And we always can count on consequences, good or bad. I celebrate everyone's free choice including mine, and I welcome this fine teaching of how energy works in my life and yours.
The criticism of " The Secret"seems to focus on it being too materialistic. It doesn't dispute the law, but suggests it's dark in its presentation of how to use it and what to use it for.. The critics do not seem to trust persons with its application, or feel that it is dangerous to focus on this law for if it doesn't work it throws them into despair or guilt of being powerless. It definitely states that this product is leading us all into the trap of consumerism and materialism because we can "use it to attract less Spiritual things into our life."
So, now I want to throw in my two cents:
- First, I so appreciate Rhonda's creation in terms of the study it provides for anyone.
- Second I am excited that it's getting so much press and acceptance.
- Third, I have been so moved by persons who have grasped the idea and so quickly applied it to their own lives in such a healing way.
- <>Fouth, I love the stir!
So tuning in and listening to our heart and our feelings tells us if we're way into ego, greed, being unconscious or not. Then we have a choice to change. There is no right or wrong, there is poor choice and better choice. And there are lessons that do result from any choice.And they are what guide us on.
We have free choice. That's a law also. And we always can count on consequences, good or bad. I celebrate everyone's free choice including mine, and I welcome this fine teaching of how energy works in my life and yours.
I'm just back from Omega's Agelessness Conference in Fort Lauderdale, Florida. I have returned home filled with energy, new inspiration, and a tired body. Rest and reentry are essential. Grounding myself back into the life I usually live. As you know this is not always easy when one is returning from one inspiring speaker after another, a gorgeous hotel room looking out on the ocean, constant companionship with like-minded people not to mention the ever present restaurant with choices beyond my usual menu and totally prepared without my effort. Reentry is not easy!
Of course, I've done this before, and sometimes with little success, but a lot of learning! I know the recipe:.
My point in telling you this is that the medicine of my home saved me. I cancelled everything for two days, built a fire in the fireplace, walked around talking to my plants, slept, changed my sheets, drank a lot of water, touched my things, unpacked (no, I hadn't even done that), watched Oprah (she's amazing), slept, ate sparsely, didn't answer the phone, listened to my footsteps in the house, picked up my knitting, did some yoga and meditation, and then slept again in front of the fire. I finally began to feel normal. The point of telling you this, is that I again was shown how great it is to have the home ready to be this tool. It was easy to build the fire, take the naps, love the beauty, watch the sunset from a favorite spot, put on the lights that create my ambience, fluff the pillows that I love, make the quick snack, do my laundry, and just plain love myself in the way that is only best for me.
Please consider this my ode to my home.......
In Gratitude.
Of course, I've done this before, and sometimes with little success, but a lot of learning! I know the recipe:.
- Drop your expectations of this smorgasboard continuing!
- Don't talk about it too much to those who remained in their usual routine.
- Come into the moment.
- Get grounded.
- Don't expect anyone to be on the same page or even know what you're talking about!
Okay, got it! So now I'll attempt to do it again. Hopefully I'll succeed without being too hard on myself if I don't succeed..................
Well, you see this time I had such a busy work schedule awaiting me, so I dropped right into "doing it all", using the surge of energy that new ideas can provide. Big mistake! I really flattened. My body got too tired and I felt terrible.
My point in telling you this is that the medicine of my home saved me. I cancelled everything for two days, built a fire in the fireplace, walked around talking to my plants, slept, changed my sheets, drank a lot of water, touched my things, unpacked (no, I hadn't even done that), watched Oprah (she's amazing), slept, ate sparsely, didn't answer the phone, listened to my footsteps in the house, picked up my knitting, did some yoga and meditation, and then slept again in front of the fire. I finally began to feel normal. The point of telling you this, is that I again was shown how great it is to have the home ready to be this tool. It was easy to build the fire, take the naps, love the beauty, watch the sunset from a favorite spot, put on the lights that create my ambience, fluff the pillows that I love, make the quick snack, do my laundry, and just plain love myself in the way that is only best for me.
Please consider this my ode to my home.......
Do you hear me my wonderful space? You're not the Taj Mahal, and you are all mine,
with my pictures, my plants, my wonderful bed, my reminders of days gone by, my warmth,
my softness, my me. Thank goodness I took the time to put you together according
to what I need for I am again nourished and healed by you and by my
wisdom to finally stop, integrate all new ways I've expanded,
and relish my life with great acceptance and joy.
with my pictures, my plants, my wonderful bed, my reminders of days gone by, my warmth,
my softness, my me. Thank goodness I took the time to put you together according
to what I need for I am again nourished and healed by you and by my
wisdom to finally stop, integrate all new ways I've expanded,
and relish my life with great acceptance and joy.
In Gratitude.
I had borrowed a book, Wherever You Go, There You Are by John Kabat-Zinn, from my daughter Robin, and was reading it upon retiring. As I grew sleepy I let the reading material drop to the floor and went off to sleep. Waking in the morning I felt wonderfully ready for the day and decided to meditate before leaving my cacoon. I raised myself to a comfortable sitting position, did a few quiet Ohms (the rest of the family was still sleeping) and dropped into following my breath and emptying my mind (always a challenge!) The moments flew by as I emptied, refocused, emptied, refocused until slowly my imagination began sending me images of amazing, colorful flowers. There were bouquets, gardens, assortments of flowers. Some were just flowing in sunshine, some softly bending in breezes, some seeming to move like a river through this vast space of my beingingness. It was so beautiful and quite entertaining. I let it continue for as long as I could and then suddenly and slowly began to return to my presence in the room. I felt so deep and in touch with myself. A very happy experience.
Opening my eyes, I remembered the book that had slipped out of my hands to the floor the night before. Reaching down I decided I would hold it in my hands as I often do and slowly slip my thumbnail between random pages, trusting that there was an important message for me to receive. The book opened and on the page I read:
Opening my eyes, I remembered the book that had slipped out of my hands to the floor the night before. Reaching down I decided I would hold it in my hands as I often do and slowly slip my thumbnail between random pages, trusting that there was an important message for me to receive. The book opened and on the page I read:
Don't go outside your house to see the flowers.
My friend, don't bother with that excursion.
Inside your body there are flowers,
One flower has a thousand petals
That will do for a place to sit,
Sitting there you will have a glimpse of beauty
Inside the body and out of it.
Before gardens and after gardens
Oh my!.
My friend, don't bother with that excursion.
Inside your body there are flowers,
One flower has a thousand petals
That will do for a place to sit,
Sitting there you will have a glimpse of beauty
Inside the body and out of it.
Before gardens and after gardens
Oh my!.
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