Denny Daikeler's Blog Spot

Gratitude

2009-10-21T22:02:00.001-05:00

Gratitude

Gratitude, a word.

Someone says write it on your glass

And the water you drink will be pure

Someone says list everything you’re grateful for

And you will be resonating at a higher vibration

When I begin my list it really works

I begin to feel so good

I forget all the things I yearn to do

All the things I want to have

All the people I have to see

All the business awaiting me

It moves me way outside my head

And opens feelings of joy instead.

My list is long and starts with me.

And all those close and whom I love

And then I think of friends so dear

They fall into that same affectionate pull

And animals too and my bed and my home

And my work and my skills, and my safety, and my dreams

It’s amazing how long I can carry this on.

But the thing that begins to awaken in me

Is how seeing the same tree be bare and then budded, and then green and then orange

Makes me just as happy this year as last

What is that?

And how feeling sand under my feet, or the rhythm of a wave

Stirs me up every time.

And then there’s that amazing truth.

That when I connect again with someone I love

That feeling springs up that is full and joyful.

What is that?

And when I suddenly feel warmth on my shoulder from that funny yellow dot in the sky

Or hear rain on the roof

Or Beethoven’s fifth, or Clair de Lune.

What is that ? How come it always works?

Is it God? Or is it me? Or Is it you?

Or is it just that honest truth.

That it is all, it is Divine, it lives IN us, in you and me for we are one.

And I am so grateful.

Stay In Touch With Your Soul!

2009-10-18T20:08:00.000-05:00

I just finished viewing the award ceremony at the Constitution Center in Philadelphia, where Steven Spielberg was presented with this year's medal of Liberty for his amazing index of movies expressing the indomitable human spirit. It was the final show of a list that I've seen this weekend beginning with Oprah's interview of Mike Tyson, a movie made in Quebec titled The Courage to Love, and a show featuring charities that are accomplishing wonderful opportunities for individuals in our country. I felt breathless. I wept through many of these shows, and especially during the Awards presentation.

Whoopy Goldberg topped the list of speakers as she acknowledged who Steven had to be personally to be aware and to be willing to produce such amazing epics of life. With humor she truly embodied the reality of what Steven has given us.

President Bill Clinton, was very impressive also, but the prize tonight, still went to Steven, for his expression of the importance of art in our world today. He spoke of his parents encouraging him to memorize The Declaration of Independence, or The Gettysburg Address. He spoke of how lyrical they are, and how that ingredient alone keeps us reminded of the important values they express. Beautifully he wove his presentation back to the importance to all of us of the arts, how they nourish us, inform us, and inspire us; how we must continue to support the development of art all over the world. He also, reminded us of how the arts keep us in touch with our own soul. I stand reminded and grateful to Steven for what he's done with his career, for his reminders and his gifts to life on this planet. I will stay in touch with my soul, Steven. Thank you!

I also, salute television this weekend. I have observed programming at other times which was less than wholesome, but this weekend my time in front of the tube was very sacred.

With love and gratitude,
Denny Daikeler

Getting A Life

2009-09-17T12:47:00.002-05:00

It's Thursday. I've had lots of work with organizing space with clients this month. It makes sense as it's September; time to leave the summer behind and get serious. At least a little more serious!

There's lots of yearning for beauty in all my work, but underneath is such a yearning to be able to move through life and one's home environment with ease, comfort and wholeness.

It is truly amazing how NOT having the home created to now support the life that wants to happen is deadly. Wanting to move into a project, to create social, or even live easily, things need to be "set up." If every movement forward involves a hunt for, a clearing of, or a distraction the life is chaotic.

I'm telling my clients that the first step is being sure all appliances, systems, and utilities are working and in good repair. The second is to setup all systems (laundry, food, relaxing, dressing and grooming, so you know that they have a designated space and all the tools needed to do the job. The third is clearing the space of everything that has nothing to do with the present life, every day (more popularly known as decluttering.) All of these steps are so important, but that third is paramount. Many of this week's projects were filled with reducing storage in the "vital" areas of the home, to only house the minimum needed for the next month! Where does the rest go? The answer is to some space removed that is also organized and accessible. (And that space needs to be orderly enough also, to support the life.)

Careful examination of what you need in this season of your life to make you comfortable, effective, happy and inspired will assist all of the above. And don't forget, it varies with every one of us. You wouldn't care one hang for the little white polar bear sitting next to my bathroom soapdish, but I would miss him deeply.

Let's organize, synthesize, and put in place exactly what turns us on. Then our new season can happen powerfully and beautifully.
Blessings to you, your space, and your willingness to "Let Go" and "Create New."

What Do I Do?

2009-08-03T10:19:00.002-05:00

I received an e mail today that was long and complex. It's contents were a summary of someone's exploration into the new flu vaccine. There were many links to investigate, each suggesting possibilities and warnings, a lot to digest. As I began taking in the e mail I was having a peaceful morning. As I ended the e mail I was no longer feeling good, joyful, but instead fearful.

I stopped. I considered how disruptive I had allowed this information to be, and I made a decision. My choice was to move into my own power and not into my fear. I closed the e mail, and id something else.

We are truly living in a time where we are bombarded by more opinions, more drama and more hype than ever before. Technology can truly bring us into a flurry of warnings, news, and chaotic thought It therefore, becomes our responsibilitty to "delete" what we do not want to take in. We get the chance to discriminate, to find the place we want to live and to let the rest of the world to "fall victim" if they so desire.

I think the most important part of what I've just said is the word choice. Each one of us has it. But our seat of choice is much easier if we have done our inner work and decided where we want to be with predictions. So much of the information suggests that we are victims, that we don't have the power to heal ourselves,more comfortable when we have gone deep within and found out that we do have power, we don't have to be controlled by a fear of our emotions or our physical well being, and we can choose gratitude and joy.

That e mail had momentarily destroyed my joy, Its darkness had taken away my power.. Of course, I had let it, but when I saw that I was giving time to fear, I quickly chose differently. "What do I want to do right now that will bring me joy? instead of Oh my God, there is so much I must do to save the world!

I love Howard Thurman's quote that goes like this:
DON'T WORRY WHAT THE WORLD NEEDS.
ASK WHAT MAKES YOU COME ALIVE AND DO THAT.
WHAT THE WORLD NEEDS
ARE PEOPLE WHO HAVE COME ALIVE.

FIGURE OUT WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY AND DO THAT

I SHOULD GET SOMETHING DONE!

2009-05-17T12:00:00.003-05:00

It's Sunday morning in spring. I've just wakened.
I see the gray outside, and hear a heavenly, soft wind through the crack in the window.
The wind sounds like music.
I smile and turn over remembering it's Sunday.
Sunday, a day I often set goals like any other. What shall they be?

I SHOULD GET SOMETHING DONE!

The wind talking, the trees bending, the leaves changing the melody.
I reach to the stand beside my bed and slip in A Beethoven CD.
I can't seem to get enough of him since 33 Variations and The Soloist.
I stay still lulled by the sounds and the wind.
My mind drifts to the dance concert last evening with Barb.
The National Dance Co. of Spain.
Amazing choreography to Debussy and Schubert.
Dancers barely clad, no color, only amazing bodies.
Strength, motion, form, sound.
Somewhat like the wind and the trees.
All a meditation.
My drive home an experience of being one with my car.
I stay with Beethoven, I stay with daydreaming, I stay connected.

I SHOULD GET SOMETHING DONE.

I am naked in bed, inspired by the body forms that I'd taken in.
Wanting to feel the simplicity, the form of me.
Still bird songs outside. I smile, pleasuring.
Thinking of treasures, Thinking of love.
Wonderful memories of a Granddaughter's birthday, a Grandson's swim lesson.
Wonderful moments of the week past.

I SHOULD GET SOMETHING DONE.

I climb out of bed, smoothing the sheets and spread to my liking.
What next?
I suddenly know I must stay with this sensuous dance.
It's a commitment. It's important.
I don a soft patterned caftan, tights, my silk T.
No elastic strips, no tightness. Only soft, sensuous.
My gray hair looks soft and right in the mirror,
A constant challenge always.
A face wash,, a warm rinse, slow, dear.
I reach for the cologne, my favorite scent,
And allow myself its essence,

I SHOULD GET SOMETHING DONE.

A cup of coffee?
A snack? Or breakfast?
I remember the baked sweet potato strips, the horseradish dip
Tucked neatly on the frig shelf. For breakfast?
They accompany me to my deck, closer to the wind, the songs, the green.
Sweet tastes, fresh air, hot coffee.

I SHOULD GET SOMETHING DONE.

I stare into the woods, so full now, leafed to perfection
I see the tall, dead tree rising bare against the abundance.
That must come out, I think.
It's a flaw.
But the branches suddenly look like arms raised in dance,
The trunk a torso arched by a throbbing heart, topped with a head inspired.
My desire changes. I see the sculpture, the life in the wood,
The message.

I SHOULD GET SOMETHING DONE, I think.

And I have.

Staging for selling your home IS declutteringt!!!

2009-04-19T10:17:00.003-05:00

I'm just back from staging a wonderful contemporary home in Bucks County, to be sold. It's on a wooded property that houses deer, birds of all sorts and open grassy areas with gardens. It's truly a find for nature lovers who also want a very open footprint and lots of windows!

My point in writing this blog is not to sell this home. It's to speak to you of what I learned in my process with this client. As you know, "staging" is the way you get a home ready to appeal to the crowds of people who are going to come and see whether this house is right for them. I could even reword that last sentence to say it is the process that hopefully depersonalizes the space so the first potential buyer falls in love! The word "depersonalize" is key.

The way this couple and I began is that I wandered the house alone putting myself in the role of customer, so I could decide what was preventing me from seeing the house clearly. I wanted to witness the architecture, the views, the space, the hominess, the function, the possibilities. I wanted to see if the house showed itself to me with clarity. I made notes of ways to be sure that this objective was reached.

I then presented my "list of things to change" to the owners assuring them that my list had their sale in mind, and was not a summary of offending judgments. They liked the list and we began. We moved anything and everything that hid the structure (the bones) of the house. We took down or removed anything that was extremely personal such as family pictures, religious symbols, extreme styles, and out of balance design.

This space has been home to this couple for twelve years. We all know that amount of time can bring in a lot of new stuff, and it had! Favorite seasonal effects had remained because of their success. Functional needs had been added without the thought to design, Gifts had been incorporated so the givers would be satisfied. New plants and off shoots of old plants had been repotted and given birthing spots on window sills. All told there was a lot of work to do, and I encouraged my clients to let go and see.

Well, the results were dramatic! As we got out the step ladders, filled boxes and shifted furniture slightly, we re-exposed the amazing structure of this wonderful building. Not only that but we brought the awesome views into the space. My clients were dumbfounded. It was such a lesson for all of us about LESS IS MORE! The space began to breathe. The wonderful colors began to shine. The few remaining plants showed off their graceful silhouettes. The walls emerged from behind "overhung spaces."

So you, who are reading this blog, listen carefully. I am speaking about "staging," and I'm also writing this as an ode to overdone homes that have "lost their beauty." Beauty is important. It is TRUTH. I big you to declutter so you will re-establish the beauty that is inherent in your home. Trust that in so doing, you are not only honoring the bones of the space you originally selected but, you are putting an end to over-consuming, you are establishing healthy boundaries, you are simplifying your life, and you are managing a look/style that serves and nourishes the inner you.

It's amazing!

Ode To A Patio Rebirth!

2008-09-27T13:01:00.004-05:00

Patricia Garrett , a friend and fellow warrior wrote this wonderful piece to me regarding the makeover of the patio/garden connected to her home in LA. I was so impressed that I wanted you to read it.
Enjoy and learn!

Hi Denny!

The neglect began the day the apricot tree, which had been the source

of so many delicious apricot daqueris died. I didn't even want to see

where it had once stood, shading a corner of our patio. The potted

plants that I had lovingly placed around the patio had also either died
or just managed to survive with no attention. This sorry state of affairs

continued for over 2 years aided by the fact we were never home for

more than 8 or 10 days at a time during the past few summers. I'd

just have the opportunity to catch up with things inside, when it was

time to pack up and leave again. Ahhh, but then THIS summer came

along. We had arranged to travel less and spend almost the entire

summer at home. I walked outside one day in May and was shocked at

the state of disrepair. I had simply stopped seeing. This was the

summer to open my eyes. (Love this, Pat!)

Since I had read What Color Is Your Slipcover, I had a file with pictures
of gardens and patios that called to me. It was time to use it!

The next step was a call to a woman who had been featured in the
LA Times garden section. After "Hello.", I simply blurted out," I have
a back yard in Brentwood that needs your help!" She laughed and
turned out to be just the right person. As I was doing this without
the enthusiastic agreement of Dave it was necessary to keep the
$$$$ to a minimum and the impact tothe maximum. Every decorator's
nightmare! But we did it. Instead of removing all the cracked concrete,
we had the cracks jackhammered and inserted black stones into the
now wider spaces. We removed a wall, added a water fountain, a fire
cauldron and replanted the pots, most with succulents. Before the work
was begun I thought about what I wanted most from the space. My
answer was tranquility and romance. Once the major work was
completed, I quickly set about seeing to those aspects. I found lanterns
to hang, mirrors which reflect the sun and make "fireflies" dance all
patio, amber lights to swag and even a chandelier with real candles
over the dining table.

After viewing Momma Mia with some friends I decided I had the perfect

setting for a party ala the film. I ordered Greek food, set up one

long table laid out for 24 guests and the fun began. Each guest was

charmed by the setting and my patio was officially reborn. It is now a

major effort to drag myself out of my hammock and into the real world.

I make it a priority to spend part of each day there, either reading,

working with the plants or blowing bubbles for my grandkids. I am

once again so very happy to have a back patio that has become a
place of peace in my life.

Love, Pat

Getting Past Overwhelm

2008-07-03T22:25:00.002-05:00

Yesterday I worked with a client who is planning a renovation that begins with a new kitchen. Stunned by catalogues that included pages and pages of cabinet door images, floor tile images, plumbing fixture illustrations etc. etc. she found herself more frightened than happy about the project. Her husband was leaving most of the style choices to her, and she didn’t have a clue where to start. Her builder called me into action. “See if you can help,” he directed.

She is a mother of a 19 month old, so getting to the job of cutting out pictures to reflect her style didn’t get done. I believe so deeply in the need to get a handle on one’s style before ever starting purchases, so I suggested that our first hour together be devoted to her going through the magazines and the two of us evaluating what was there speaking to her. She agreed out of desperation (I think) and while she went through magazines I wandered the house returning from time to time and checking in. It was a great process. She knew readily when she looked at a picture, whether she liked it or not. Combining what I saw in the house, I began to put lots of possibilities to her for consideration and affirmation. We became a fabulous team so quickly.

“I’m seeing no focus or pattern on the floor in any of your pictures!” I said. She looked and agreed.

‘Notice how there is no shine on the floor, but lots on the counter and above.“ I showed her.

Her house was filled with color. I asked her about colors she loved, about whether she loved real art as opposed to prints, and whether she loved collage. I noticed how often there were pendent lights in her pictures. She was having fun, and learning a lot about herself with this organized way of selecting.

The crowning moment was when she pulled out that cabinet catalogue again and saw the 75 images begging to be chosen. “This, she said is when I get overwhelmed. And it happens in the midst of meetings and everyone waiting for my choices.”

I methodically showed her each kitchen picture she had pulled out of that pile of magazines. Show me the cabinet image in the catalogue that represents the cabinets in this picture. IT WAS ALWAYS THE SAME IMAGE.

Now her smile was broad. “Do you see how consistent you are?” I said. She nodded.

“Do you know how easy it is going to finally be when you have to choose?”

“I think I do.” She said.

We continued for a short time to keep evaluating and narrowing into who she was, and what would work best so that she was daily inspired by her environment. The process took just an hour for now, and had her ready for the big guns when she had to be confidant that A was better than B for her kitchen. I left my happy client with the assignment to “Do some more.” She promised she would. And I promised myself I would insist on this hour of planning with every client that is willing, so the design, the renovation and everything in between is pure joy and success. I say this for every designer to hear, and for every client to do.

PLEASE!

This Is So Important!

2008-03-04T22:55:00.003-05:00

This is so important!

I am just back in Pennsylvania from a trip to California and up into Malibu where my son and daughter-in-law have just bought a magnificent home overlooking the Pacific. We had many long conversations about the inner space of that home and it re-ignited that fire in me about how important it is to each have input/a voice into the process of design of the home!

When we were discussing how they were going to approach their spaces I could hear/see differences in their individual needs/preferences. One was liking it cooler and simpler, the other warmer and a bit more complex. But they have heard me enough to know they must find their consensus in order to begin. They will be working with a designer in California, so they now need to find their words, their common ground to be able to communicate to this professional just what it is they as individuals and they as a couple want. This will allow each of them on a daily basis to resonate deeply with their surroundings, their HOME.

We bought them piles of magazines. They will each go through them individually cutting out all the images, colors, shapes, essences that make them feel SO GOOD! (See the chapter on “Finding Your Common Ground” in my book). Then they’ll exchange their pile of selections and each go through the other’s collection of favorites. They’ll extract from each other’s pile their individual favorites again. Now they’ve created a third pile, which is their consensus. That third pile of pictures is their key to both of them loving their home.”.

To use this process they must take careful note of just what it is they like AND WHAT THE OTHER IS LIKING! They need to talk about what their current life is, and how they need to orient and organize their space to fit that lifestyle. If quality time is spent doing this work and seeing all the characteristics, talking about them, and understanding them, then they’ll be able to talk to their professional in a more profound way. Then he/she can transpose it all onto to the space of their beloved cocoon, and it will guarantee surroundings that represent both of them, deeply. When they open the door from a long day out in the external world, the nest will welcome each of them on the heart level and bring them solace and joy.

As we spoke I could clearly see the metaphor. If two persons can come together and find their agreement, the oneness that does live in both, they will have found the place from which they can live their life together with profound compassion and understanding. If countries, states, communities can do this also, then we all will feel at home on the planet and be able to live in total compassion and understanding of each other.

When one or the other suppresses who they truly are, or ignores their truths, then intimacy, knowing, possibility and true transparency is lost, and equality and balance are not possible. Do the work! Take the time! Bring your hearts and your souls to the table of dialogue, respect what each wants and needs so the intention for happiness and peace while living together has much more possibility. You’ll be teaching everyone on the planet how to live together.

They Decided To Move "Within" Their Home

2008-02-08T21:44:00.000-05:00

They decided to move “within” their home!

I got a call. “ We’re so excited! We’re moving the master bedroom downstairs, my office into the guest bedroom, creating a family room where my office was and making the old master bedroom the guest bedroom!” they said.

“WOW!” I said. “That’s powerful stuff.”

“Yep. Come as soon as you can. We need to talk."

I got over there pronto. I was excited. I knew they had just moved a beloved business out of the house, one of them had been through a huge heart transformation, and they’d been visiting retirement centers to decide whether to sell and go, or to stay. So, you can see that this news was big and powerful. It turns out that the deer grazing outside the windows, the sun streaming through all day, a new kitchen just one year old, and this new essence without the business was just so dear and therefore had won out over security, safe planning and the advice of many.

I was not one of the many saying “Sell.” They had consulted me during their process, and I had encouraged taking the route of doing what felt fabulous and powerful to their lives now (are you surprised?) I don’t think I was the only one touting that formula, but I was so ecstatic to hear their decision.

We are now deep in the process of creating, shuffling, and rearranging. I wish you could see it. The home is very Scandinavian in appearance, lots of windows looking out onto woods and fields, a deck shooting out into the trees. Their driveway is a bear when icy, but they can choose to sit tight until it thaws. Nice!

Well, the master bedroom will now be a room 16x20 square feet looking out into the woods. The bathroom is a nice size, which is getting new tile, and fantastic glass bowls for sinks. A door is being added to open into large closets that used to be the “coat rooms.” They’re choosing very daring colors and application, and they took up the wall-to-wall carpet to expose the wonderful maple wood floor. They told me they feel the space is so sexy!

Well, in a market that is less than booming, a “move within” is a fabulous choice, and especially if you’re in favor of doing what the heart desires. I suggest that it be the path we all take - no matter what!

My Gift To You!

2007-12-05T15:20:00.000-05:00

I remember reading in a January issue of Life Magazine (remember Life?) years ago how so many of us go into "Love Crisis"just after the holidays . The gist of the article was that this crisis comes out of our expectations of the holiday; expectations that are so high they can't possibly be fulfilled. I must admit that the article pegged me. January has always been a challenge, so I was grateful to find out why.

Expectations are so dangerous. They can foul us up in relationship, in our jobs, and especially when life deals us a blow. The saying that "It's not what life deals you that matters, but how you respond" is not an easy concept, but it is one that can make a difference in how you live out all of your life no matter what.

I received an e mail from a friend/client/reader named Virginia today. Virginia lives far away from me and came to me through reading my book. We've talked often over cyberspace about environment, her exercise progress through Carl's Beachbody.com, or a fast question she has for me about what to buy. But today's e mail slipped into some of her life reality, and I knew I had to share it with you for it had home, the holidays, expectations and love all wrapped up within. So in honor of Virginia and Bill (who is dealing with cancer,) I give you the gift of a window into their creativity.

Virginia writes ; " We are cherishing every moment, even the ones that aren't particularly pleasant because either way they ARE our moments and we've no guarantee of more. The past two days have been wonderful. After several months of being confined to home by Bill's low blood counts and only having a few foods he was allowed to eat ... we are FREE!!! LOL Not 10 minutes after the nurse called Monday we were giggling and sitting in a restaurant ready to devour huge salads. Never has lettuce tasted so delicious!

When your granulocyte (infection fighters) counts are low enough you can't eat fresh fruits or vegetables, raw grains or nuts, any meats that are well done, mayonaise, yogurt, or foods from deli counters. The list gets endless. Even my flowering plants had to find new homes. Add the restriction of going no place with more that 2-3 other people present and no school age kids around. Well, I'm sure you can imagine.

With the freedom comes a week of chemo, which will drive the counts down and confine us to home again. We are celebrating every single moment. Seeing friends, hugging people, being in crowds, it all feels fantastic. It takes a lot of work to maintain a happy outlook during the times we are confined. We've developed an ongoing Scrabble tournament, (I'm winning) we read from a book each night at dinner and discuss whatever the topic, we have dates right here at home. Mostly we've learned to be very respectful of each other's needs, whether that's a hand to hold or space to scream. This time has made our marriage much stronger."

Thank you, Virginia. My day today has been far better due to this e mail. I find myself so inspired on so many levels. To know that you have worked hard to create a home that you love, and to discover how it is serving you and Bill now is powerful. But Virginia, it's one thing to have your space ready. It's another to use it creatively. You and Bill are a fabulous example of "making it work and getting past your expectations." Thank you for your words.

No matter how we celebrate this time of the year as the light returns, may our homes support us and our beliefs, and assist us in every moment as we live out who we are and what life has offered. I pray that we see it all as a gift and live as deeply and honestly as Virginia and Bill.

Happy Holidays, Denny

U.S.News & Wrold Report

2007-11-23T14:21:00.000-05:00

In U.S.News & World Report, the week of November 28th, several writers wrote wonderful articles on Sacred Places. The entire feature is so well done. My delight is that in the amazing review of so many powerful sites they did not fail to mention personal sacred spaces and how they may just be in the home.
The final article of the feature is written by Winifred Gallagher. She writes:

"Over years of thinking and writing about how our external worlds affect our inner ones, I've visited Europe's cathedrals, India's temples, and Morocco's mosques. Nevertheless, when I hear "sacred place," I think first of my modest home, a one-room schoolhouse in the woods, where I'm wriitng these words.
Like many American homes, the schoolhouse combines natural and architectural ingredients in its recipe for ordinary sacredness. On this chily morning, sunlight floods the white, high-ceilinged room. The only sounds come from the brook, the wind rustling in the autumn leaves, and the fire crackling in the wood stove. When I woke up, the first thing I saw was a small herd of deer grazing on the lawn. The schoolhouse has precious little plumbing and no central heating, cell service, or high-speed Internet. Given a hard enough rain storm, it has no electricity.
Despite the inconveniences-or perhaps because of them-this is where I come to be cut off from the staatus quo, glimpse the big picture, and remember the deep truths that are so easy to forget elsewhere."

As you, my readers, know, I get ecstatic over all exclamations of home, its impact, its power, and its possibility of joy. Through her words one clearly sees that Winifred knows what she wants and loves and has been successful in creating it for herself. I would call it her medicine, her way of getting what she needs in particular times in her life.
An individual cannot expect those gifts from any environment if they are not aware of what brings them an intimnate connection with that wonderful center within - the Self. And knowing the desires, there is also the work of creating the space so it can give it back when needed. Knowing what places bring you to your sacred, and then either going there or creating it for yourself guarantees that it will be there for you when you need it.
Thank you, Winifred. Your book the power of Place, how our Surroudings Shape Our Thoughts, Emotions, and Actions (Harper Perennial, 1994 )was a meaningful resource as I wrote my book. You get the message out there so well. Blessings and Thanksgiving to you!
Denny Daikeler

Guided By My Jade Plant

2007-09-23T14:31:00.000-05:00

I don't know about you, but my house plants at this time of year are huge, abundant, and HEALTHY. The Christmas cactus looks like it can't wait for the holiday, the dracenas and philadeldrons are all over place and the jade plants are rivaling the trees in the yard, especially the one on the east wall in the kitchen. I think it reaches more for the sun every early morning. My son Carl was so taken with her on his last visit that he asked to be bequeathed her in my will!

Well, I don't know whether the plant was listening to Carl or not, because last Thrusday after watering I heard a loud crash in the kitchen and you guessed it, the jade had fallen, or perhaps the term " exploded" would be a better description. I was stunned, upset, forlorn and helpless as I stood over her scattered branches. When I pulled myself together, the only thing I could think to do was to gather all the parts and place them in a cardboard box just to protect the tender leaves as I sorted out my plight.

Was this disastor a sign? Was I being warned? Always my first step when I feel I've gotten a sign is to consult my Ted Andrew's Nature-Speak book. Jade was not listed, so I had to go to the larger category of Cactus. The "keynote" was: "adaptation, find and express the beauty and strength in all conditions."

Well, my first step of adaptation was a trip to the local garden center where I was told the cardboard box was a great solution while the raw ends calloused. The victims soon would be ready for new pots and time to root and grow. I bought new pots, and when ready, I did the planting, ending up with five plants instead of one.

My next adaptation was for me, the owner and keeper of this beautiful jade tree that had lived with me for at least forty years(YES, I WAS UPSET) to figure out what my jade was trying to say to me. You see I've been living an amazing life of guidance from animals, birds, flowers, trees, numbers everything. And believe me "everything seems to have a voice!" Sometimes I hear the directive through a a phrase or sentence, and sometimes I need help. It's become a very sacred science of me knowing that I am being shown something about my life by some very Divine companions leading me forward. So you see, I now know the jade is a new escort wishing to advise me. Time to contemplate.

I thought of the plant when I watered it. I noticed that it was larger and a little unsteady in its pot, but I fidgeted with it a bit and called it "fine"! Wasn't fine was it? Obviously was out of balance, and over extended for its present pot. Hm!

Time to get honest here. How am I feeling? A Bit out of balance and too much for my spot in life? Yeah. A little too true. Too much to do. Going in so many directions. Wanting to do everything, see everybody, branching out. Pretty powerful isn't it? And I've got to admit it's painfully clear. And isn't it interesting that I ended up with five new plants, and five is the number of change. Am I being advised to change?

This definitely will deserve more meditation and contemplation, but in the meantime I am alerting you to look, listen and see what is speaking to you for your well being. The messages are truly a gift. Ted Andrews says: "A great and ancient energy is at play. It reminds us that true growth is usually slow but steady, but we must adapt and not try to force it."
I stand advised and grateful.

And probably by the time that my will is vital, Carl will have his choice of five large and gorgeous jade trees carefully cultivated and well in balance for their pot!

The Blessed Harvest

2007-09-05T11:53:00.000-05:00

So here we are into the new year, at least the end of the summer and the beginning of the fall in my part of the world. I feel the newness so strongly with the academic year beginning. I live next door to a school, and the return of everyone to begin again, changes the energy on my road to a high degree!

Our weather right now in Southeastern Pennsylvania is awesome. The beauty is at as high a place as I've ever seen. It creates a feeling of gratitude in me that is even hard to express. As I meditated today, the thought of "harvest" came into my mind (that mind that is supposed to empty and be quiet!) What an amazing gift life is. We get to plant our seeds, whether it is for the creation of home, the creation of relationship or community, the growing of food, the growing of the Self. Then we get to cultivate. And, if we have done all that work (process) well, then comes the chance to harvest.

Sometimes the seeds have been seeds of growth, and sometimes seeds of change. And sometimes the seeds of change are seeds of growth! Closing the door can be as creative as opening it. I guess you could even say that harvest and beginnings are synonymous for a student reaps the results of past school years as he/she moves onto the next level of learning.

I wish you, me and the planet at whatever phase, a marvelous and abundant harvest. Bring it on!

We Love Beauty At Any Age!

2007-08-21T17:01:00.000-05:00

Visiting at a friend's house for dinner six of us got caught up in a small design project. The participants were the couple whose home we were in, the 92 year old mother-in-law, two other friends and myself. The discussion centered on a small wall in the dining area where we were sitting. The discussion was What should go there? One of the owners was wanting a low cabinet on the wall, the other was wanting a tall plant and a picture. The first would mean there would be three walls with low cabinets, not good. The latter would be a repetition of the corner across on the diagonal. Not good either. One owner remembered a small inherited Victorian table, very open in a deep brown wood. Sounded good to me.

We retrieved the table and placed it on the wall. It looked great. Now, we needed wall treatment above. A picture was the first suggestion. Certainly a possibility. A tall accessory? I felt it would make the table top heavy. One owner remembered their modern metal sculpture consisting of many small and varied sized sqaure and rectangular pieces. "Get it," I said. It looked fabulous for it enhanced the curves of the table and was vertical, aligning well with the shape of the wall.

We were having fun and it was looking great. So now what should go on the table top?" This was very tricky because we had two very strong statements in the table and the sculpture. I said that I'd like a small soft green plant that was a vine. One was retrieved and what a success! The plant lived in a rectangular brass box. It was so right on!

We all loved and were so proud of our accomplishment. Finished, we went on to other topics. All except our elderly guest who remained with the new visual. She loved it. Somehow the plant added exactly what she wanted and just pleased her aesthetic sense. She just stared and stared. Her comments kept bringing us back to the vignette. Her shoulders would go up and she'd comment how it just was so nice! I was as entertained by her joy of the visual as I was by our successful creation. It reminded me deeply how much creativity can please our hearts, and how, if it really reaches us personally, it continues to bless our delight no matter who we are or what our stage in life. Truly design and beauty hold extreme importance to our Souls.

Never forget!
Love, Denny

Designing in the moment

2007-08-09T06:28:00.000-05:00

Last evening I had dinner with dear friends of mine who have created a life that is eight months in Mexico, four months in Tinicum, PA. When they are in Tinicum they are living in a very tiny cottage whcih they are renovating as they go along. I was there a week ago and they had part of a kitchen up, some furniture in place, and a lot of potential for more! This week I was blown away by the transformation. Oh, they hadn't finished the kitchen, they hadn't finished the floor, the closet wasn't in along the back wall, part of the electricity was still out, but because of their ability to bring out and arrange lovely objects and place them so artfully the space was charming, comfortable, and inviting. There was a gorgeous and brilliant gaphic that was a cotton fabric tacked at the front door, there were some treasured pictures placed very carefully on the walls, there were nests for conversation, there was an eating area nested in another corner with a brilliant fabric tablecloth, on and on and on. The dinner was delicious, dessert baked in another cottage's oven, pasta with pesto all prepared on hot plates, salmon done on an outside grill, ....these people are artists in the moment. The cottage does not have to be done perfectly in order to be attractive, in fact stunning, for they are so good at making what is in the moment beautiful. It also, does not have to be finished to entertain! The lesson was that for me. I wait for something to get to a certain point before I make it beautiful when it could be beautiful in all stages. I wait for the "done stage" to have people over. Instead all I have to do is accept everything exactly as it is, bring forward my creativity, and what I have in the moment and use my designer's eye (we all have one, you know) to make it happen. This way every moment is beautiful and full of life. Great learning!

The Margins of Time

2007-06-26T18:08:00.000-05:00

We are experiencing weather this June in eastern Pennsylvania, that rivals any I remember. It's not so hot and humid, there are breezes, and because of a great amount of spring rain everything is more abundant. There are more leaves on trees, more flowers, fuller streams, even more song birds!

I can't get enough of it. Yesterday morning I got up early and found myself going straight outside. I went right to the middle of the stream and just stood in the middle, gaping. The feelings of life being magical, amazing, superb just filled me up.

During this standing meditation, my mind wandered to how many times I've had this same opportunity and not done it. I've either gotten up fast to start my long list of "to do's", or I've gotten on the phone immediately. I realized that I had truly gifted myself this morning, and needed to do it more.

We all hear more often than not about how we're leading "busy lives." It's true. And it does deny us some of these simple exquisite moments. My mind goes to a friend's presentation one Sunday morning at Pebble Hill Church. Gordon was talking about using the "margins of time"; how we all have them whether it's before or after something scheduled , or while we're waiting for someone, or a phone call or a roast to finish cooking. We have them but sometimes are impatient with them, consider them a "hold up". Gordon's advice was instead to use them for pleasure, meditation, prayer, contemplation or just sitting (or standing in a creek!), but for sure to use them.

His point is so well taken, for if we're aware of the margins we can decide to use them creatively. They can become part of our behavior, part of our day, so we fall into it more naturally. Perhaps asking ourselves at those moments, "What can I do right now, that is easy, simple and will bring me immense joy? The question might open you up to something quite unexpected, something that you do therefore, with a lot of intention.

Alex Grey, the artist, talks about going out into nature, sitting down in a spot that draws you and asking for the wood fairies, the nature nymphs to show themselves. He says it takes patience for you really have to concentrate on one particular spot, but if you're willing to wait, they will show up. He warns that you will have to be patient and trust their coming.

I haven't tried it yet, but think of me tomorrow morning. I've just decided I'll create that margin of time!

Anita's Question

2007-05-08T07:24:00.000-05:00

Anita is building a new house. This is the third house I've worked on with Anita. She's done the work of the book "What Color Is Your Slipcover?" and we both now know she loves simplicity, elegance, soft colors, more conservative looks, no drama, lines that are simple and straight. She is working with an architect who is finishing up the new plan. Anita is getting so good at answering the questions about detail on this new space. She's getting so clear, because she's understanding that her comfort is around these design characteristics I've listed. This clarity is serving her well for she is buffeted by phrases from her professionals such as:"This will make the house stand out!" This will give it character" "This is what's in!" These are very seductive statements and lead us all to what we don't want because it doesn't relate to who we are.
Some of my clients love to have their homes "stand out". Others need to see "character" for its convincing them they have character. But I would say to everyone that, it's your
character that needs to show, and there is not a standardized element that can ever represent character. I feel so strongly about this. You will never feel like you belong in the house you've built or bought, or are renting, if it's filled with someone else's interpretation of standardized, character, drama, simplicity, elegance, perfection, difference, on and on. You need to know what is perfect for you, elegant to you. Your own interpretations of your words, your adjectives, serve you and the professionals you are working with. Get clear. Notice the things you love around you, evaluate your responses to looks, feels, presentations, effects, for they all speak to you of your style. They wake you up to what makes you heart comfortable, full and complete. Do the work so no one can tell you how you can have more character.
YOU ALREADY HAVE IT. JUST KNOW WHAT IT IS AND WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE!

In the Face of Grief

2007-04-29T08:16:00.000-05:00

Sixty years of marriage, very little time apart, and the onset of a new life through the death of the partner, is HUGE. My friend Rene called me from Iowa. The days of waiting and praying had helped her father move on gracefully. Now helping her Mom know where to start a new and single life with alivness and interest was the focus that Rene was holding Sacred.
There was a homestead that Mom could return to. There was also the room that her parents had shared at an assisted living establishment. The question was which would Mom choose. Rene hoped her choice would be to remain where she'd been for the last three years for it seemed more manageable. Her mom seemed to be leaning that way also.
The reason I'm sharing this in a blog is some of the ways to deal with her mom's situation proved to be environmental. As Rene and her Mom addressed the issue her mom made definite references to the lack of warmth in the small apartment. In response, Rene talked about the possibilities of replacing the dark green carpet to a warmer beige that Mom said she liked, and perhaps changing the drapes. She also suggested some rearrangment to make the small eating area pleasant. This seemed to perk up mom's interest.
As these ideas were discussed with other member's of the family the ideas were met with comments such as, "This rug is fine. It's almost brand new." etc. These responses do not honor or recognize the importance of how a person is feeling about their space, or that there may be a real personal need for new possibilities. Talking about them is the first gift of caring. Knowing they're significance and helping to make it happen is truly an act of love.
Items with memories, furniture placed in ways that support the way we like to move or relax, pictures that hold images that are special to us such as flowers, landscapes, waterscapes, will greatly assist us in feeling our own harmony with life. Rene's wisdom in taking the time to deal with Mom's environment will guarantee her movement into new life with more ease than not. Having the space transform has so many messages, and probably the most important one is that life is not over and is worth living from a place of depth and hope..
Grieving is assisted by change on all levels, and especially on the level of our own living space.Helping an elderly parent accomplish this helps their life and yours! Helping them remember the life you all had together and seeking new possibilities also, moves everyone along the path to rebirth. Every moment on the planet deserves fullness, hope, and joy, for everyone, and an elderly parent just may need assistance in getting there.
Hats off to Rene.

The Secret! We Always Have Free Choice

2007-03-08T12:50:00.000-05:00

I have been reading several critiques of "The Secret," A new book and/or DVD by Rhonda Byrne, that is getting a lot of attention. A quick summary is that it is a gathering of opinoins/information around the law of attraction. I find myself very inspired by the clarity of this work and its message. I am also impressed with Oprah for she has chosen to share the material with her audiences through assorted panels and personal testimonials of individuals who have used the information.

The criticism of " The Secret"seems to focus on it being too materialistic. It doesn't dispute the law, but suggests it's dark in its presentation of how to use it and what to use it for.. The critics do not seem to trust persons with its application, or feel that it is dangerous to focus on this law for if it doesn't work it throws them into despair or guilt of being powerless. It definitely states that this product is leading us all into the trap of consumerism and materialism because we can "use it to attract less Spiritual things into our life."

So, now I want to throw in my two cents:

First, I so appreciate Rhonda's creation in terms of the study it provides for anyone.
Second I am excited that it's getting so much press and acceptance.
Third, I have been so moved by persons who have grasped the idea and so quickly applied it to their own lives in such a healing way.
<>Fouth, I love the stir!

<><>I am not dualistic. I do believe that there is Spirit in everything. "All is Well" is right where I am. If we don't know any better and focus all our energies into lack or super greed that's what we'll get And that will throw us out of balance.And then we can make a different choice. We can then change the way we're using energy and thought. If we use this information to attract the big house, the expensive car, the diamonds, and it throws us way far away from who we are in our own Divinity, then we'll go out of balance and that will tell us (or not if we're not conscious) that we're not grounded in what our Soul/God is asking us to do in this lifetime.
So tuning in and listening to our heart and our feelings tells us if we're way into ego, greed, being unconscious or not. Then we have a choice to change. There is no right or wrong, there is poor choice and better choice. And there are lessons that do result from any choice.And they are what guide us on.

We have free choice. That's a law also. And we always can count on consequences, good or bad. I celebrate everyone's free choice including mine, and I welcome this fine teaching of how energy works in my life and yours.

Returning Home

2007-01-20T13:06:00.000-05:00

I'm just back from Omega's Agelessness Conference in Fort Lauderdale, Florida. I have returned home filled with energy, new inspiration, and a tired body. Rest and reentry are essential. Grounding myself back into the life I usually live. As you know this is not always easy when one is returning from one inspiring speaker after another, a gorgeous hotel room looking out on the ocean, constant companionship with like-minded people not to mention the ever present restaurant with choices beyond my usual menu and totally prepared without my effort. Reentry is not easy!

Of course, I've done this before, and sometimes with little success, but a lot of learning! I know the recipe:.

Drop your expectations of this smorgasboard continuing!
Don't talk about it too much to those who remained in their usual routine.
Come into the moment.
Get grounded.
Don't expect anyone to be on the same page or even know what you're talking about!

My point in telling you this is that the medicine of my home saved me. I cancelled everything for two days, built a fire in the fireplace, walked around talking to my plants, slept, changed my sheets, drank a lot of water, touched my things, unpacked (no, I hadn't even done that), watched Oprah (she's amazing), slept, ate sparsely, didn't answer the phone, listened to my footsteps in the house, picked up my knitting, did some yoga and meditation, and then slept again in front of the fire. I finally began to feel normal. The point of telling you this, is that I again was shown how great it is to have the home ready to be this tool. It was easy to build the fire, take the naps, love the beauty, watch the sunset from a favorite spot, put on the lights that create my ambience, fluff the pillows that I love, make the quick snack, do my laundry, and just plain love myself in the way that is only best for me.

Please consider this my ode to my home.......

Do you hear me my wonderful space? You're not the Taj Mahal, and you are all mine,
with my pictures, my plants, my wonderful bed, my reminders of days gone by, my warmth,
my softness, my me. Thank goodness I took the time to put you together according
to what I need for I am again nourished and healed by you and by my
wisdom to finally stop, integrate all new ways I've expanded,
and relish my life with great acceptance and joy.

In Gratitude.

The Environment Within

2007-01-20T12:48:00.000-05:00

I had borrowed a book, Wherever You Go, There You Are by John Kabat-Zinn, from my daughter Robin, and was reading it upon retiring. As I grew sleepy I let the reading material drop to the floor and went off to sleep. Waking in the morning I felt wonderfully ready for the day and decided to meditate before leaving my cacoon. I raised myself to a comfortable sitting position, did a few quiet Ohms (the rest of the family was still sleeping) and dropped into following my breath and emptying my mind (always a challenge!) The moments flew by as I emptied, refocused, emptied, refocused until slowly my imagination began sending me images of amazing, colorful flowers. There were bouquets, gardens, assortments of flowers. Some were just flowing in sunshine, some softly bending in breezes, some seeming to move like a river through this vast space of my beingingness. It was so beautiful and quite entertaining. I let it continue for as long as I could and then suddenly and slowly began to return to my presence in the room. I felt so deep and in touch with myself. A very happy experience.
Opening my eyes, I remembered the book that had slipped out of my hands to the floor the night before. Reaching down I decided I would hold it in my hands as I often do and slowly slip my thumbnail between random pages, trusting that there was an important message for me to receive. The book opened and on the page I read:

Don't go outside your house to see the flowers.
My friend, don't bother with that excursion.
Inside your body there are flowers,
One flower has a thousand petals
That will do for a place to sit,
Sitting there you will have a glimpse of beauty
Inside the body and out of it.
Before gardens and after gardens

Oh my!.

Another state heard from -Psychology or interior design

2006-02-17T22:10:00.000-05:00

Last weekend Pennsylvania got 14" of snow. Saturday was the day nobody moved. I think we all love that first snowday that forces hibernation. It's the best.

In the midst of my snuggling an e mail arrived that I'd like to share.

Denny-What fun to find you! We seem to have ended up in a similar spot, although from different directions. Just felt a desire to connect...35 years ago there was a decision to be made... psychology or interior design. I went psychology (this is year 27 working as a school psychologist) but my passion for the spaces we create has remained alive and well! Four years ago I was trained through IADA (Interior Arrangement and Design Assoc) and set up a business in room redesign. Have loved it.... the immediacy and the concrete visual nature of the work has been a wonderful balance to my last 27 years. In addition to rolling up my sleeves and pushing furniture around I have thoroughly enjoyed working with clients as they are “reinventing” themselves, for whatever reason. As you know, as they evolve, so do their spaces...and as their spaces evolve, so do they. A year ago I developed materials to use in a small group seminar, Interiors: yours..your homes. It was a wonderful marriage of my years in psychology, education and my new second career. But, as life sometimes goes, things came up and I was not able to get it off the ground to actually DO them!?! Recently, the little voice in my head has been calling once again saying there is a need to help people define what speaks to them in life and in their homes and gain confidence in their ability to bring it all together. The seminar outlines are back on my desk . I have been doing some research / reading to refocus my efforts and in this process your book just plain popped off the shelf into my hand one day at the bookstore. It is GREAT! I have loved it and feel as though I have found a comrade......thank you! Kathy--

Kathy Anderson, IADAsimply...Aha 952-486-1346 (c)www.simply-aha.com

Bringing the FUN back into creating your home!

Thank you Kathy!

Kathy lives in Minnesota. The Universe has certainly been busy planting this idea of home design being profound and transforming, in a lot of places.

I've also just had a call about some women in New Jersey, who've formed a group to do the process of "What Color Is Your Slipcover." Word has it that they are really having a good time.

I hope it all keeps growing. Whether it's Kathy doing seminars in Minnesota, Kathy Roberts starting her own business using the book's process in Ohio, or classes being created in Virginia, it's movement toward more personal homes. I hope I keep getting letters. I hope more families have homes that fit their current life. I hope lives become richer from the work of designing through the heart. I hope! I hope! I hope!

Can the Home Environment Juice Your Love!

2005-11-12T13:35:00.000-05:00

YES! A BIG, LOUD YES!
"But how?" you ask. "Relationship is so organic?"
It's true and if the home becomes authentic to your "couple needs” then the possibilities of replumbing your love dynamic are totally possible. Empty nesters ask this question most often. It's because they've been living a particular way a long time and when the kids leave, the tracks they’ve been riding in for so long are hard to move out of. But it is truly possible and exciting.

Often it's one member of the partnership that is dissatisfied, although my guess is it's mutual and only one is aware and verbalizing. But the aware party can be the leader in opening the issue. Of course, dialoguing without blame is the first way to go. Expressing the yearnings of now, the desire for more romance, more attention to the marriage or relationship, loneliness, desire for new projects or concern for the life of the relationship creates intimacy. When another hears the words formed that represents thoughts, it touches deep. Especially if there is no attack or blame happening, but instead the desire to share. Be sure to choose the event or place for this conversation carefully.

Sometimes these dialogues begin the process of renewal, and sometimes they fail because the awareness is not shared. If the latter has happened to you, then you can look to the environment for some support. Try moving lights around so there's new feelings, more intimate shadows. Use candlelight often, serve meals in more intimate spots in the house, rearrange furniture to create cozy space, put a cozy chair for reading near the kitchen workspot, create a place for conversation in the bedroom, on and on. And certainly don't forget to make the bedroom more romantic. Think of things that feed the current life. This is a great beginning.

Sometimes the above gets the fires going and a more expansive project can emerge. This of course, takes more effort and probably more money! It will certainly create more discussion, but watching patterns of movement, seeing empty spaces that are never entered, noticing how you both are separated by the present orientation of the house or apartment are very helpful ways for moving ahead effectively.

You may come up with the thought to bring the home office closer to the common space. You could decide to add on a sun porch for relaxing or to open walls so rooms don't separate. It's really deciding what you want now. An exercise that I love for finding out what is missing from your life is writing a fantasy day. You contemplate what you would literally choose to do with 24 hours if anything and anyone was possible. Write it in great detail. Your job then is to figure out how you create the dynamic that your story represents in your home.

If the other person isn't into the exercise big time, you can play around in conversation, "Like what would you do with 24 hours blah blah blah." It's a great game over dinner. You might be surprised with what you hear. And by the way if you're missing from the fantasy don't get upset. It means you're very present in the life. Remember this reveals what's missing! The tricky part is figuring out how you transform the essence of the fantasy. Does it represent excitement, travel, romance, alone time, freedom, play etc? For example if travel were the message, to initiate a conversation on "Should we travel more?" would be appropriate. If the answer is yes then instigate the things to make it happen i.e. A drawer in the desk or a spot for travel brochures, videos on travel, articles that enlighten possibilities, a convenient place to store suitcases. You could even each write on slips of paper, places you yearn to see. Then someone draws a slip for the next planning session of an adventure.

In my practice one man I worked with said he'd have a conversation with his father who had passed on. Obviously there was some yearning on some level here. I suggested he bring out some wonderful old snapshots or portraits of times past with dad to help support and remind. I also heard regret for lost possibilities of intimacy so we created spaces for quiet shadings in the home now. These could prevent the continuation of such a loss. This may sound far-fetched, but the note I received from him truly was a testimonial to the process and our success.

If none of the above works, then you need to become a magician and court your partner. Yes, courting using the environment. Be a sneak. Find out what they love now and bring it about. Enhance the corner where they love to read. Leave small tokens of your affection around, or thoughtful notes or a rose perhaps! Try to remember their favorite color and use it. Bring out the candles (subtly at first!), play their favorite music on the stereo, figure out ways to wake up the senses, and be sure you do it according to your partner's index! It takes some detective work.

If either one of you is sporting a new interest in learning something or crafting, consider setting up spaces to let it happen. One couple discovered that they both had a desire to paint. They signed up for a nightschool course took over a now vacant bedroom as a studio, and each had their easel and their library of color. Magic happened.

It all has potential. The home is always a tool to open up the life. Use it well.

All of us....We've Got to Change!

2005-10-27T20:10:00.000-05:00

A friend sent me an amazing account of clutter in American families today. It was published in the Lubbock Avalanche-Journal on Sunday, October 23, 2005. In my opinion the subject is well stated by this reporter. Before I summarize my own thoughts I am going to quote some poignant passages from the article.

American Families Dwell in Clutter, Unruliness. Accumulated Stuff Symptom of Disorganized, Messy Mind-Set in Modern American Households. (Boulder, Colorado - AP)

“To many observers, clutter reflects the mind-set of the modern household - overburdened, disorganized and compulsive. To others, clutter is a broader symbol of a ravenous culture dependent on easy credit, piling up debt and consuming a lion's share of the world's resources without considering the consequences.”

" People's homes are a reflection of their lives," says Los Angeles psychologist and organizational consultant Peter Walsh. "It is no accident that people have huge weight problems in this country, and clutter is the same thing. Homes are an orgy of consumption."

“The obesity analogy isn't a joke. While personal spending drives much of the U.S. economy, the resulting clutter from all that shopping is so pervasive that some researchers wonder if it might have a deeper, biological component, similar to overeating.”

“.....Scientists have difficulty quantifying clutter. It is a private problem that most people sweep under the bed and shove behind closed doors. On cable TV, at least three reality shows are devoted to clutter management. On the Learning Channel, "Clean Sweep" employs psychologist Walsh. It has filmed more than 200 episodes unloading people's junk.

“Fifty cities in 17 states have chapters of Clutterers Anonymous, a 12-step recovery program.”

“For some, clutter results from more than rampant shopping. It suggests widespread social discontent.”

"People hold onto stuff like their kids' old clothing as a way of holding onto the past." Walsh says. "Or they keep things they think they might need someday as a way to control the future."

“Hoarding research focuses on changes to a region of the brain connected with decision-making problem-solving and anticipating rewards.”
_______________________________________________________________________________

This is powerful stuff and something you've certainly heard me talk about a lot in my book. I think the piece that moves me the most in this article is "People's homes are a reflection of their lives," and "clutter is a broader symbol of a ravenous culture dependent on easy credit, piling up debt and consuming a lion's share of the world's resources without considering the consequences."

I think all of us daily feel the pull to consume. I know I do. I can be finished work and driving home and oops, I'm passing Marshall's. I immediately fashion the idea of pulling in to see if there's a bargain in my size. I've come to recognize this feeling as a need of immediate gratification, because I really don't need another piece of clothing. And I don't need to spend time shopping which takes time from personal relaxation. It's another form of addictive "doing." Doing that I can feel the results of immediately! I also know I don't need a lot of stuff to grow my self-esteem (oh all right! at least I'm trying not to).

Getting smarter about my own reality, I've learned to acknowledge that pull to shop and instead decide to do something else instead. Perhaps I'll go home and read another chapter in my good book, or take a walk in the leaves (if it's not raining!), or stop to see a friend. My car is now eight years old. I have never owned a car for eight years! In fact I used to have a belief that it was time to get rid of a car after two years so I didn't own something that was going to begin to give me problems.

I've had to talk fast to myself a couple of times when I passed a new model that looked stunning, but I quickly remind myself of the unbelievable piles of trashed cars I've seen in dumps nationwide, and discipline myself to not add to the pile. My car runs beautifully. It has a lot more miles in it. It's only my ego that will be satisfied by the shinny new vehicle that I can accessorize, and sport around in town. Not a good reason.

I agree with this reporter that all of our stuff accumulating is a reflection of dissatisfied Souls numbing their feelings (my words) and failing to take a path that is less gluttonous. I sit with many a friend who complains about the United State and its gluttony (we consume over half of the world's resources) and we never mention the gluttony in our own lives. We really need to get it that all these things we're complaining about exist within us and will not change until we clean up our act.

War is the same. We all cry about our sons and daughter being sent off to battle, but we're totally unable to resolve small differences within our families, our relationships, our workplaces. It's all the same. War won't go away until we manage to resolve differences in each one of our lives.

So I urge us all to sit down quietly and contemplate what our inner work is. How we can change so that we are a mirror that is much more helpful to the planet. It's really up to each one of us.

At the end of this great article was a list of tips. I'm going to leave you with the list in case it could help you declutter! And thanks for listening. I have total faith that we'll all get it together. I just hope it's soon enough to save the planet.

Cluttered Lives - Tips from personal organizers for reducing household clutter.

* Have a family meeting to decide what should go and what's off-limits.
* Be realistic. Don't do it all at once. Try one room or one closet at a time.
* Seek professional help if you fail to reorganize more than twice.
* Seek professional help and psychological counseling if your clutter prevents you from using rooms as they were intended, if broken appliances go unrepaired or if your stuff blocks normal access to halls, closets and doors.
* Be ready with boxes, trash bags and cleaning supplies. Know where you will donate unwanted possessions.
* Limit what comes inside the house. Sort unwanted mail and fliers over a trash can by the door.
* Throw out two old possessions for every new one.
* If your Star Wars action figures or baseball cards are not on display or catalogued, it's not a collection. It's junk.
* Mark pantry items with throw away dates in 3-6 months.
* Don't buy when you can rent or borrow, such as DVDs and books.
* If you haven't worn clothing in a year or it no longer fits, donate it.
* Limit childhood souvenirs to a few.
* Read my book, What Color Is Your Slipcover?
* Good luck!