My Gift To You!

I remember reading in a January issue of Life Magazine (remember Life?) years ago how so many of us go into "Love Crisis"just after the holidays . The gist of the article was that this crisis comes out of our expectations of the holiday; expectations that are so high they can't possibly be fulfilled. I must admit that the article pegged me. January has always been a challenge, so I was grateful to find out why.

Expectations are so dangerous. They can foul us up in relationship, in our jobs, and especially when life deals us a blow. The saying that "It's not what life deals you that matters, but how you respond" is not an easy concept, but it is one that can make a difference in how you live out all of your life no matter what.

I received an e mail from a friend/client/reader named Virginia today. Virginia lives far away from me and came to me through reading my book. We've talked often over cyberspace about environment, her exercise progress through Carl's Beachbody.com, or a fast question she has for me about what to buy. But today's e mail slipped into some of her life reality, and I knew I had to share it with you for it had home, the holidays, expectations and love all wrapped up within. So in honor of Virginia and Bill (who is dealing with cancer,) I give you the gift of a window into their creativity.

Virginia writes ; " We are cherishing every moment, even the ones that aren't particularly pleasant because either way they ARE our moments and we've no guarantee of more. The past two days have been wonderful. After several months of being confined to home by Bill's low blood counts and only having a few foods he was allowed to eat ... we are FREE!!! LOL Not 10 minutes after the nurse called Monday we were giggling and sitting in a restaurant ready to devour huge salads. Never has lettuce tasted so delicious!

When your granulocyte (infection fighters) counts are low enough you can't eat fresh fruits or vegetables, raw grains or nuts, any meats that are well done, mayonaise, yogurt, or foods from deli counters. The list gets endless. Even my flowering plants had to find new homes. Add the restriction of going no place with more that 2-3 other people present and no school age kids around. Well, I'm sure you can imagine.

With the freedom comes a week of chemo, which will drive the counts down and confine us to home again. We are celebrating every single moment. Seeing friends, hugging people, being in crowds, it all feels fantastic. It takes a lot of work to maintain a happy outlook during the times we are confined. We've developed an ongoing Scrabble tournament, (I'm winning) we read from a book each night at dinner and discuss whatever the topic, we have dates right here at home. Mostly we've learned to be very respectful of each other's needs, whether that's a hand to hold or space to scream. This time has made our marriage much stronger."



Thank you, Virginia. My day today has been far better due to this e mail. I find myself so inspired on so many levels. To know that you have worked hard to create a home that you love, and to discover how it is serving you and Bill now is powerful. But Virginia, it's one thing to have your space ready. It's another to use it creatively. You and Bill are a fabulous example of "making it work and getting past your expectations." Thank you for your words.

No matter how we celebrate this time of the year as the light returns, may our homes support us and our beliefs, and assist us in every moment as we live out who we are and what life has offered. I pray that we see it all as a gift and live as deeply and honestly as Virginia and Bill.

Happy Holidays, Denny